FWB: Author's Note

(October 17, 2011):

I actually wrote “Friends without Benefits” for a writing contest that one of the girls I usually follow on Blogger hosted. It was her first time hosting a writing contest, so there were not a lot of participants. Therefore, I decided to participate in order to support her first contest and motivate myself to write another story. The name of the writing contest was called Priceless Theories, and the objective of the contest was to build a story upon a theory you personally believe.

When I started “Friends without Benefits,” I had no idea where the story was going to lead and how it was going to end. I had a general idea of the theory I wanted to build upon, but I was not certain. I was not sure how to create a story that would emit the significance of my theory either, so I just wrote whatever came to mind. Evol, to me, is an innocent suburban girl that dwells in the beauty of her hometown. Although I did not fully develop her character, I wanted her personality to show through her thoughts, feelings, and environment unlike Kai’s. Portraying an ideal guy was hard, so I used a lot of self-interests to bring forth Kai’s character and his interests. I wanted to portray him as a carefree and romantic guy typical of the-guy-next-door, and the best way to do that was to use photography as the focus point. It is, after all, the whole cause of Kai and Evol’s meeting.

The different stages in Evol and Kai’s relationship are what I used to develop my theory that friendship is the best relationship two people can have developed between them. As human beings, our first encounter with a stranger is always filled with uncomfortable silence and sometimes awkwardness. We tend to hide our true selves and refrained from conversing about ourselves due to the lack of trust. However, once we have passed that stage and became friends with that person, we realized that there really is nothing we do not wish to share with him or her. It is the stage where we can laugh at one another, argue with each other, and cry together and is still able to make up at the end of the day. However, friendships can change for better or for worse, and it is due to this change that I wanted to emphasize on. Once a change has taken place, the possibility of things returning to the way they had been before is very little. Evol’s relationship with Kai is the perfect example of a change that cannot return to how it was before.

I honestly was not expecting to win the writing contest when I submitted “Friends without Benefits”. I did not have enough confidence to even hope for an hour, and I felt as if I had not done a good job carrying out the story’s plot. So after submission, I actually forgot about the writing contest until recently when I was carrying about my routine on Blogger that I remembered. I visited the girl in charge of the writing contest’s blog and saw that I won. I was shocked, but I was really happy too. What made me even happier were the comments that I received from her and the judge that read the entries with her:

Winner is: Shawty!!! Your story was brilliant. Fabulous and I loved it girl!

Judge's say: The story that I read here was something that should go into a magazine, it was that well written. What a wonderful way to express the different stages in one’s life. Truly, a good read. You completely deserve this!                

Their kinds of comments are what remind me of why I enjoyed writing and are what motivates me to continue writing even though my progress is slow. As long as my writing is able to produce even the smallest smile on someone’s face, then I am content.

Thank you for reading “Friends with Benefits”!

Love, shawty_12

© N. Hli 2015 All rights reserved.
[HS Pen Name: shawty_12]

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FWB: Official

“…Hello? Kai?”

“Evol?”

“Y-Yes…. I-did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

“It is all right. Is something wrong? Why are you calling so late?”

“It’s…. I…. Can you meet me in the park tomorrow? I… um… has something to tell you.”

“Sure. Is tomorrow morning at 9 okay?”

“Yes! I- I will see you tomorrow then. Good night!”

“Good night.”

I paced back and forth in front of the picnic table, clenching and unclenching my fists. I was anxious to see Kai and get my confession over with, but at the same time, I was filled with nervousness. I felt sick to my stomach. My throat felt undeniably dried too, and I was nervous I would not be able to get any words out when I see him. I glanced at my watch and groaned when I saw that it was only 8:50 A.M. I could not sleep last night and ended up coming half an hour earlier than the appointed time.

An autumn breeze blew past and I consciously held up both my hands to hold my hair in place. Once the breeze has passed, I readjusted my clothing for the hundredth time before I began pacing again. Although the pacing was supposed to help calmed my nerves, it did little of that. Instead, it added more ‘what ifs’ to the jumble of mess in my head. I was so busy practicing my confession in my head that I did not noticed Kai’s arrival.

“Evol?” I jumped at the sound of his voice. “Are you all right?”

I whirled around to face him, and for a second I lost my breath. His hair was still wet from his morning shower and out of place from walking in the wind. Yet, he still looked absolutely stunning when he peered into my face with concerned eyes. His hand came up and brushed my bangs away from my eyes. The warmth of his touch seeped through my skin all the way to bottom of my heart and for a moment I forgot why we were there so early in the morning.

“You have bags under your eyes,” he said, his voice pulling me away from my trance, “but you don’t seem to have a fever. Did you not sleep well last night?” When I pulled away from him without an answer, he hooked an index finger under my chin and lifted it up to meet his penetrating eyes. “Evol?”

“…I have something I want to tell you.”

He let go of my chin and took a step back so that I could be within his view. “Yes, that is what you said to me last night. What is it? Tell me. I am listening.”

My heart was racing a mile a minute, its sound resonating loudly in my ears. Suddenly Kai seemed really close, and how ever my confession was prepared earlier was no longer important. The nervousness was still screaming within me, but the urge to confess to Kai overpowered it along with everything else. I did not give myself a chance to give everything else a second thought for fear of backing out. Summoning the little bit of courage that I had, I took a deep breath and closed the distance between us again.

“Kai… I like you.”

There was a long moment of silence as neither of us said anything after that. Our eyes continued to hold one another but other than blinking now and then, neither of us made any motion of moving. I was afraid to move, to look away, or to even laugh and said that I was just joking. The atmosphere between us has changed from calm and comfortable into something strange and awkward. It was not the same awkward as the time when we first met one another, or the same awkwardness that one felt when an uncomfortable topic has been raised and neither party knew how to respond. It was a totally different atmosphere that felt suffocating.

Finally, I could not take it anymore. “Say something please.” I averted my eyes and backed away from him. “It is scarier than a rejection when you just stand there.”

Kai scratched the back of his head sheepishly while an embarrass smile formed on his lips. He was trying to act nonchalant and unaffected but when his eyes met mine again, they were filled with apologies. My heart sank.

“I am sorry. I did not mean to put you on the spot, you know, after you have just confessed… to me of all guys. Listen Evol, I am really grateful that you are interested in me even though I am not the best looking guy in town, or the perfect guy that every girl hopes for, but… I cannot accept your feelings.”

My throat felt dry again and I had to force myself to remain calm. I wanted to run away and hide, to cry my eyes out in my room, but I wanted to know one more thing. “May I… may I ask why?”

“I… I already have a girlfriend.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. He flipped it opened and showed me the screen. Smiling out at me was a picture of him with his arms wrapped around the waist of a beautiful girl around our age. He had rested his chin on her left shoulder while she leaned her head against his as they stared in the direction of the camera. They looked really happy together. “Her name is Hope. We have been together for three years now. She… is coming to see me today. I… wanted to ask if you want to come with me to go pick her up from the airport. Do you- do you still want to go?”

“No,” I answered, shaking my head. I could feel the tears welling up and all I wanted to do at the moment was leave this place. “I- I promised my mom this morning that I would run an errand for her today. It is getting kind of late too so I should head back. I will um… see you later.”

I gave him a forced smile before I made a move to walk past him. He instinctively held out his hand and caught my arm before I could get passed him. “Evol, wait. I… Even though I cannot accept your feelings, I hope that we can still be friends.”

“Friends….” The word hurt so much. “Sure. Friends forever right?”

“…Right.” He knew that I was lying and I knew that he knew, but at the moment neither of us was brave enough to pursue the matter anymore. His grip on my arm gradually loosened and then it was gone. “I will see you later then.”

“Right.”

The journey home was cloaked in tears and hurt. The pain of a broken heart was unbearable especially when Kai was my first love. I cannot remember how long I mourned my broken heart but the pain eventually subsided and all that was left of the wound was an ugly scar. Kai and I were never the same after that day. Our friendship disappeared and any kind of relationship that we had or should have had never took course again. The last thing that I heard about him was that he and his family had returned to the United States. That news took place two months after my confession. I have not heard from him since.

Even though I kept on hoping and waiting that one-day he would return whether with or without his girlfriend so that we could make up, the day never came. He never sent me a letter nor gave me a call, and sometimes I wonder why. Maybe I should not have been so selfish and stubborn. Maybe I should not have confessed so willfully without considering his feelings. Maybe I should give him a call first and apologize. However, I was scared, and because I was scared, I continued to hold back.

In the end, Kai and I still had been nothing more than just friends.

[Click to go to Author's Note.]


© N. Hli 2015 All rights reserved.
[Official date of completion: August 2011]

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FWB: Friendship

“Kai, why do you like photography?”

He snapped a picture of a Silver-studded Blue butterfly taking flight from its rest on a golden sunflower, its white and blue wings apparent under the setting sun’s rays, before he looked up with a frown on his flawless face. His brown orbs looked past me as he considered the question. A slight breeze tousled his cherry red hair out of place and he unconsciously reached up to pat it back in place. I could not help but noticed the visible skin beneath his uplifted shirt. Our eyes met for the briefest of moment after and I had to look away under his knowing look. The frown removed itself from his face to be replaced by a teasing smile.

“Maybe it is because I grew up holding a camera that I cannot imagine myself doing anything else besides photography,” he finally answered. “But if I am to be honest,” he stepped away from the patch of sunflowers and toward me on the path, “it is because photography is the only form of art that I can express myself in.”

He joined me on the path and we continued through the garden. The scent of flowers surrounding us deepened the further we walked toward the center of the garden. A stream of varied bright and colorful flowers met our eyes as well while far off in the distance the sounds of chirping birds filled our ears. Kai continued to fill the memory chip in his Sony SLT-A55 as if oblivious to his surroundings, but I knew that between us he was the keenest.

“What do you mean?” I asked as I watched him squat down next to a daisy before snapping a picture of it. “Although photography may be considered a form of art, you still cannot express yourself through it. It is different from painting and drawing or even singing and dancing.”

Kai stood up, took one last look at his camera screen, and then covered the camera’s lens. He motioned in the direction that we came from and we turned back. “You’re right when you said that photography is different from the other kinds of art. However, it is only different due to its reversed techniques of expressions. Other than that, photography is not much different from you singing and dancing, or me painting and drawing, but God knows I cannot do either.”

We both laughed at his last statement. Overhead the sun’s rays were becoming less intense and the sound of chirping birds has been replaced by buzzing insects. Night was fast approaching and out here in the suburb the night can become pitch black without any source of lights. Yet, neither of us bothered to speed up our pace as we sauntered back toward the parked car in the emptied parking lot.

“I still do not understand….”

Kai paused for a moment to consider his explanation. Then he said, “With the other forms of art, the artists have to create the art themselves before they can show it. With photography, the art is already present; the artists just need to reveal it. So you’re wondering how I can express myself through an artwork that I did not create myself. Well, my pictures are my artworks. I may not have created the objects in my pictures, but the fact that I even bothered to take pictures of those objects makes them my artworks. If a person wanted to know the kind of person that I am, then he or she must look through my pictures and focused on the objects in them. They will tell that person the kind of person that I am.”

We emerged from the garden path and onto the cemented lot. The sun has gone into hiding then, and night has taken over. It was a cloudy night, so Kai took out his cellphone and flipped it on. The small light from his phone chased away the dark surrounding our feet. He took hold of my hand and we made our slow progress toward the car.

“Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’?” Although he could not see me shake my head no in the dark, he carried on the conversation as if he had. “It is a phrase used to refer to the idea that a complex situation or idea can be conveyed through a simple image. Thus, it is one of my favorite phrases.  I know I might not become a professional photographer in the future but I still hope to evoke some form of feelings through my photographs. If a single picture can produce even the smallest smile on someone’s face, then I am content.”

We have reached the car by now and he walked me over to the passenger’s side. Even though the summer night air is warm, my hand felt emptied and cold when he let go of it to open the door. He held out his cellphone as I climbed inside the car.

“In other words, you like photography because you can share a part of yourself with the people around you through it.” I looked up at him from inside the car.

He turned the cellphone around to face him so that I could see him nod. “That and the fact that photography is the only way I can retain some of my memories.”

“Like?”

“Like tonight. Twenty years from now if I come upon that picture of you staring off into the horizon where the sun was setting, I will remember that I was here in this place taking pictures with you.” He must have expected my surprised reaction because he flashed me a wide smile before he closed the door. Outside the car the small light moved away from his face back to the ground and I was left to wait in the dark car.

[Click to go to Official Stage.]

© N. Hli 2015 All rights reserved.
[Official date of completion: August 2011]

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FWB: Stranger

The sun was still shining but the leaves were no longer budding. Instead, they were shedding, one by one, to the ground. The trees were starting to show bared limbs while at their feet the green grasses has turned to a shade of golden brown. Autumn was almost over and winter was almost here. Citizens had begun wearing layered clothing as the air turned cold and crisp. Young children were forbidden to stay outside for too long in feared of catching colds. Although everyone still carried on with his or her everyday chores, a solemn chatter has replaced the bustling buzz of summer. The air felt heavy with dread as everyone waited for winter, for no one wanted to experience the bitter cold.

Despite the gloomy atmosphere, I found myself falling in love with my surrounding as I surveyed the colorful grounds. Dried leaves crunched underneath my boots as I walked down the paved path. The afternoon breeze was still cold as it cut through my sweater to my skin, but it was still bearable under the sun’s rays. Spotting an empty table overlooking the lake, I went over to it and sat down. All around me the park remained silent despite it being a Saturday afternoon. The silence along with the sparkling lake in front of me felt comforting. I was about to lay my head down on the table and enjoy the peacefulness when a click followed by the sound of approaching footsteps stopped me. I turned around to find myself staring up into the face of a stranger.

“May I join you?” There was a twinkle of interest in his eyes as he peered down at me. The smile on his face made my heart skipped a beat and I noticed for the first time that he had a dimple on the right side of his cheeks. He did not look dangerous or threatening at all.

“Sure,” I answered before my mind fully registered what just happened.

He took the seat opposite mine. “Today is a nice day isn’t it?” he asked, his smile never leaving his face for a second. I nodded in agreement as I watched him. After he had settled down, he took off his camera from around his neck and gently set it down on the table between us. Once his hands were free, he stuck one of it out expectantly. “I am Kai Li. My family and I just moved in to town last weekend.”

I cautiously took his hand and shook it. Immediately, I noticed how warm and smooth his hand was compared to my cold and chapped one. Embarrassed, I quickly let go and hid both my hands underneath the table. “Welcome to Hualian. I am Evol Chen.”

“Evol?” he asked, testing the sound of my name on his lips. “Isn’t that love spelled backward?”

I nodded. “Don’t ask me why my parents chose that name. It is a long and boring story.”

Kai laughed and I could not help it but smiled at the sound of his melodic laughter. It was a nice and soul lifting sound to hear after the morning silence. “I will not ask then, but honestly speaking it is a nice name. It has a nice ring to it besides the meaning behind it.”

“Thank you.” A blush crept onto my face and I mentally kicked myself for such reaction. It was not my first time hearing someone complimented my name so I had no right to act like such a fool. However, it was the first time that such a handsome guy had complimented my name. That fact alone should be an exemption, correct? “So… how do you like Huilian so far?”

“It is beautiful,” he answered. “The air here is fresh and clean unlike the city air. The folks here are really nice too. I have yet to see any violence or gruesome bloodshed.” He laughed when I winced at his chosen words. “I am just joking; I do not want to jinx my luck yet. But Huilian really is beautiful. The scenery here is a lot nicer than I thought it would be when I looked it up on the Internet.”

I motioned toward his camera on the table. “Are you a photographer then? You seemed to have an eye for your surroundings.”

Kai picked up his camera and showed it to me. There was pride in his eyes as he described his passion for photography to me. “I am not a professional photographer, but I do enjoy taking pictures. In fact, this is the whole reason why I am out walking around town today.” He waved his camera in the air. “I wanted to take some pictures around town and get myself familiarized with this place so that I will not get lost the next time I’m out.”

“Then… do you want me to show you around?” I offered without thinking. Once the question was out, I bit back my lip nervously. I was not used to showing strangers around town. “I mean, if you

“Of course I want to!” Kai put the camera strap around his neck again and suddenly stood up. “I was hoping you would agree when I approached you.” At my widened eyes, he smiled apologetically back. “You were the only one that did not seem to be occupied with something or someone here.”

I allowed him to drag me off the bench and onto my feet. “Thank you for telling me how much of a loner I am,” I said sarcastically, trying to hide the smile that was itching to break free.

He let go of my arm and did a quick bow. “You are welcome Ma ’dam.” He laughed as he easily dodged my swing before skipping away. “Come on Ma’ dam; we shall hurry before the sun sets!”

“Use that word one more time on me and I will take back what I said!”

[Click to go to Friendship Stage.]

© N. Hli 2015 All rights reserved.
[Official date of completion: August 2011]

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Friends without Benefits

Best part in a relationship is the friendship.

Stranger ll Friendship ll Official ll Author's Note
When a man and a woman meet, they undergo three stages that will ultimately change their life whether it is good or bad. The first stage is the stranger stage when both parties are still learning about one another. If the first stage does not result in any success, then there shall not be a second or third stage. However, if it ends up being a success and both parties becomes acquainted with one another then they will enter the friendship stage. This is the stage where either party will determine for themselves if they want to proceed to the next stage or stay where they are. The last stage, the hardest stage to overcome, is the official stage. This is the final stage between a man and a woman. If both parties manage to succeed in this stage then they have a higher possibility of having a happily ever after together. But if either party failed, then they have to face the painful consequences that all living beings wish to avoid.

I wish I could have been smart back then and saw life the way I see it now. If I had seen life as simple as one, two, three then I would have save myself a lot of painful memories. If I had not been so inconsiderate and immature, I probably could have a worthy friendship too. If I had known that the third stage would be this harsh especially in reality then maybe, just maybe, I could have spared the both of us.



© N. Hli 2014 All rights reserved.
[Official completion date: August 29, 2011
2011 Priceless Theories Writing Contest Winner]

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